1. This is you every Friday:

2. But then you remember that you can’t dance to save your life.

3. So you pay someone to teach you how to dance.

4. And you look for dance tutorials online.

5. Then you start to practice all your dance steps.

6. And you practice:

7. And practice:

8. And you even plan one elaborate choreography in your head.

We’re gonna shut down that dancefloor!

9. How you think you look when you dance:

10. How you actually look:

11. How everyone else looks at you:

Hey now, what are you doing?

12. So you just jejely stay on your own when all your friends are dancing.

No need to come and embarrass yourself.

13. But then the DJ plays your song and you forget yourself.

14. When you’re feeling the music but you don’t want to embarrass yourself so you just sit down and be moving small small:

And now, if you would like to find out what kind of owambe dancer you are, you should read this next post:

1. Your spirit will LITERALLY leave your body.

It will sit up, stand up, look at your body, look around and then walk off looking confused.

2. In some cases (Mount Zion movies) you will be given a tour of heaven and hell and then sent back to Earth because “it’s not your time”.

Even the Grim Reaper makes mistakes.

3. If it’s a really depressing movie, you’ll be insulted by an elderly angel and sent straight to hell immediately after the tour.

Because you were actually a terrible person when you were alive and the angel just really wanted to let you know this before sending you off to eternal torment.

4. You’ll be told the identity of the person that killed you.

Because in Nollywood, no one dies of natural causes. 99% percent of the people that die were definitely murdered.

5. Sometimes you’re given the chance to pick between going straight to heaven OR going back to Earth as a ghost to haunt the person that killed you.

Because gone are the days when vengeance was for the Lord.

6. If you choose to become a ghost, the clothes you died in will be taken from you and you’ll be given a white flowing gown.

The official Nollywood ghost uniform.

7. Also, you’ll be given a LOT of white powder for your face and cotton wool to stuff in your nostrils.

Because being a ghost isn’t scary enough. You also have to look like you have leprosy.

8. You’ll get the chance to torment the life of the person responsible for your early demise by appearing to them from time to time and turning the lights on and off in their house.

Nothing scarier (more annoying) than flickering lights.

9. You will torment this person until they confess to what they’ve done after which they’ll commit suicide. Only when this happens will you find peace.

Your work as a vengeful ghost is done.

10. You will then proceed to go to heaven.

Regardless of the fact that you just exacted revenge and that God said we shouldn’t.

11. To keep the Nollywood themed fun going, read this next article about the 13 important life lessons Nollywood has taught us.

13 Important Life Lessons Nollywood Movies Taught All Of Us

1. The National Arts Theatre

Built during the military regime of Olusegun Obasanjo and designed with the exterior made to look like a military hat, the National Arts Theatre was completed in 1976 in preparation for the 1977 Festival of Arts And Culture (FESTAC). It has a 5000-seater main hall with a collapsible stage and 2 capacity cinema halls. In 2010, Olusegun Obasanjo announced that there were plans to privatize the theatre and on the 30th of December 2014, it had been sold to a Dubai-based conglomerate for $40 Million dollars. This caused much controversy but like pretty much all the outrageous stuff that has happened in this country in the last few years, people got over it.

2. The Welcome To Lagos Statue

Commissioned under the administration of Colonel Raji Rasaki and designed by Bodun Shodeinde in 1991, the sculpted three chiefs was built to welcome people coming into Lagos state and stood over 12 ft tall. It stood until Nigerians burnt it down in 2004 because they insisted that the statue was full of juju and was the cause of the accidents that were happening around it. It was rehabilitated and moved to it’s present location along Epe only for people to burn it down AGAIN during the fuel subsidy sage in 2012. I am tired of Nigerians.

3. Tafawa Balewa Square (TBS)

Tafawa Balewa Square (TBS) is a 35.8- acre ceremonial ground (originally called Race Course). It was constructed over the site of an abandoned race rack (which is why it was called race course). The entrance to the square has giant sculptures of 4 white horses above the gate and 7 red eagles. The square has a capacity of 50,000 which has housed a lot of historical events like Nigeria’s independence celebration which took place on the 1st of October 1960 at which the prime minister Tafawa Balewa gave a speech.

4. The Third Mainland Bridge

Opened in 1990 by the then president Ibrahim Babangida, The Third Mainland bridge is the longest of the 3 bridges (Eko and Carter) connecting Lagos island to the mainland. It was the longest bridge in Africa until 1996 until the 6th October bridge in Cairo, Egypt was completed. It measures about 11.8 km in length. If you live on the Island and work on the mainland or vice versa, then you’ve definitely passed this bridge and experienced the insane traffic on it.

If you enjoyed this, read this next article about 20 pictures from Nigerian history that will make you wish you could time travel.

20 Pictures From Nigerian History That’ll Make You Wish You Could Time Travel

1. “You’re so skinny, do you even eat?”

No. I survive on water and oxygen.

2. “Let me carry you, I’m sure you don’t have any weight”

Of course. I am not made of matter. I have no weight and I occupy no space.

3. “Look at you, you’re just skin and bones”

Hello! Who asked you?

4. “Tini beku…longitude”

Just…shut up. Like, shut up.

5. “Your stomach is so flat it’s like a table”

Come and draw on it now. Oya, come.

6. “Why are you exercising? Do you want to disappear?”

Because they told you exercise is for only fat people abi?

7. “You should be a model”

You should just keep quiet. So because I am skinny means I have a career in modelling abi?

8. “But why are you so skinny?”

Like, why? Just answer me.

9. “You should be eating more”

You should be minding your business.

10. For women: “Don’t worry, when you get pregnant you’ll become fatter”

Who asked you?

11. For men: “Don’t worry, when you get married you’ll become fatter”

Can you mind your business?

1. Regina Askia

One time Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria, Regina Askia successfully transitioned from modelling to acting and gave us breath taking performances in movies like Full Moon and Most Wanted. We found out that she got married, moved to America with her family and is now a registered nurse.

2. Susan Patrick

Susan Patrick lit our screens up when she played the title role in “Sakobi the Girl”. She was one of the Nollywood A-listers in her day but her career kind of went off track when her husband died in 2006. She tried breaking back into the industry later on but just couldn’t. Sad.

3. Sandra Achums

Sandra was a legit leading lady in the 1990’s starring in hits like Domitilla, Deadly Affair and Ashanti (LOL!). We found out that she gave up the up the life of fame for matrimony and now only pops up in the news when she’s having a new baby.

4. Ernest Obi

Ernest Obi was an actor and sometimes director known for movies like Love Crime, Daytime Lovers and Italian Deal. He suddenly vanished from the public eye and we found out that things haven’t been so rosy for him. APPARENTLY, his ex-wife accused him of impregnating his step-daughter several times and subjecting her to countless abortions. WHAT THE HELL FAM?!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Saint Obi

The dictionary definition of Nollywood leading man, Saint Obi was on all our screens playing leading roles in movies like Candle Light and Sakobi the Snake Girl. We all thought he quit the business when he stopped showing up in movies but he said himself that he was still active. When asked why he wasn’t in anything recent, he said that even though he gets a lot of movie role offers, he turns them down because of their quality. We’re not saying that it’s a lie but we’re saying that it sounds LIKE a lie.

6. Charles Okafor

Known for movies like Sting, World of Riches and End of The Wicked, Charles Okafor was a major presence in Nollywood but has been in anything in recent times. When asked why, he said that he has found Jesus and therefore can’t just be in any script that doesn’t give a positive message. We hope he’s happy.

7. Shan George

Light skinned beauty, Shan George was known for movies like Outkast (that was really infamous for all its nudity), Thorns of Rose and Welcome to Nollywood. After an attempt at a music career (remember that her abomination of a song? LOL!) she attempted to make a comeback by starring in a terrible movie named “Prada” about female footballers that was so terrible NO ONE saw it in cinemas so they sold it to Silverbird who broke it down into episodes and tried to pass it off as a series. It was still terrible.

8. Eucharia Anunobi

Who could possibly forget fabulous Eucharia and her batshit crazy fashion sense (remember her makeup and eyebrows?! LOL)? She was fabulous in movies like Abuja Connection, Dorathy My Love and Glamour Girls. Eucharia left the movie business to become an Evangelist. The only thing funny about this is that she still makes up like an ancient chinese demon. LOL!

9. Hanks Anuku

Hanks Anuku was Nollywood’s bad boy. No literally, he played the role of the ‘bad boy’ in EVERY movie. He also almost always played a Nigerian who went to school in America and just got back. Nollywood stereotypes are the worst. He was in movies like Men on the hard way, Wanted Alive and Bitter Honey. Last we heard of him, he had relocated to Ghana and become an official Ghanaian. When asked why, he cited Nigeria’s seemingly eternal economic crisis as the reason. We feel your pain, Hanks. Also there was that time he was accused of giving his wife AIDS though he said that wasn’t true sha.

10. Ndidi Obi

Remember her? How could you not?! She was the lead in one of the most iconic Nollywood movies of all time, Nneka the Pretty Serpent. Problem is that since then, she hasn’t been in much stuff. We did some digging and found out that in 2013, she became an official in her church. Good for you, Ndidi.

11. Francis Duru

Star of the epic movie, Rattlesnake, he vanished from the public eye. We know he’s married happily with kids but we don’t know exactly what he’s up to.

12. Ernest Asuzu

Having been in movies like Royal War and Campus Queen,  Ernest Asuzu disappeared from the public eye while being involved in a lot of controversies that led to rumours about his sanity. We heard that he found Jesus. Good for him.

13. Obot Etuk

It has been said that that Obot Etuk was the queen of supporting roles that played supporting roles long enough to convince people that she was leading lady material. Rumor has it that she gave up on the movie business when she realized she would never be among the A-listers. No one has seen her since.

14. Hilda Dokubo

Hilda Dokubo could cry!Jesus! She was damn good at it too. If you need proof, checkout this screenshot of her official Wikipedia photo.

HER OFFICIAL WIKIPEDIA PHOTO IS OF HER CRYING! LMAO! Anyways, she was in awesome movies like End of the wicked and Light and Darkness. She hasn’t been in much over the last decade but we did find out that she played a supporting role in the 2015 movie, Stigma and this role won her an Africa Movie Academy Award.

If you enjoyed this, read this next article what some Nollywood actors would look like as cartoon characters.

If Nollywood Actors Were Cartoon Characters…

1. This Insane Phone

I still don’t know how to use this phone tbh.

2. Cameras with film

Remember when you would take a couple of pictures and then wait weeks to find out if they were fine or not? LOL

3. The Disc Man

These things were so bulky ehn. They couldn’t even fit in your pocket. You had to hold them in your hand. Chai.

4. VHS Cassette Tapes

Remember how the tape would get dirty and you would have to literally clean it with spirit. Remember how, when you rent a tape, you would have to rewind it to the beginning and you would close your eyes so you don’t see any part of the movie that would spoil it for you. We suffered sha oh.

5. When there was no Netflix

To watch your favorite show, you had to catch it on TV. If you missed it, it was gone forever.

6. When there were no smart phones and you had to record songs from the speaker of radios.

If someone talks by mistake during your ‘recording session’, the whole thing is ruined.

7. When TVs didn’t have remote controls.

Every time you wanted to change the channel or raise the volume, you had to walk to the TV.

8. When phones didn’t have QWERTY keyboards.

Remember when you had to press one button 3 times to get one letter?

If you enjoyed this article, read this next one about all the times technology tried to frustrate you.

7 Times Technology Was Just After Your Failure

1. When your Nigerian mother is about to hit you and you hold her hand:

Just go and start praying that your soul will be accepted into heaven.

2. Nigerian mothers don’t joke with their phones.

3. Naija mum be like, “So cooking the food wasn’t enough I’ll wash the plate too abi?”

4. “You say what??”

5. It’s like you don’t like yourself.

6. “Why did you put mop on your head?”

7. “So you want to beat me now abi? Beat me! Beat me!”

1. So your new year resolution was to save plenty money in 2017 so you can turn up in December.

2. And that means you have to open a new bank account that you can’t touch anyhow.

3. Then you get to the bank and the machine at the door keeps sending you back.

4. Now you have to start saying ‘Amatyourback’ because the queue at the bank looks like this:

5. Next thing, the teller asks you to bring N500,000, one fat red goat, and the blood of a 7-year-old crocodile to open a savings account.

6. So you have to borrow a pen to fill the request forms about all your family members.

7. After all the wahala, the banker says you have to wait for two weeks before your account gets activated.

8. On top of it, they kuku remove N500 service charge from the account you just opened.

9. That’s not all o, you still have to wait for one whole month to get your ATM card:

10. When you finally realise you don’t have to go through all that wahala on Alat.ng.

11. You, when you get that 10% interest on your Alat.ng savings at the end of the year!

Really and truly! All you need to open a bank account on Alat.ng – Nigeria’s first digital bank- is a smart-phone and internet! No wuru-wuru service charges and queuing wahala. Head to Alat.ng to learn more!

1. This is how your friends look at you when you all go out to drink beer but you end up ordering malt.

Guy wetin dey do you?

2. People will ask you how you relax and unwind after a long stressful day.

So I can only relax with alcohol?

3. When people insist you must smoke weed because you don’t take alcohol.

Must I get intoxicated somehow???

4. When someone suggests that the reason you don’t drink is because your father was an alcoholic.

Talk about my father again and I will punch you in your throat.

5. When they suggest that your mother was the alcoholic.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO CATCH THESE HANDS!!!!

6. When you’re a guy and someone tells you that you’re not a real man because you don’t drink alcohol.

YOUR FATHER IS NOT A MAN!!!

7. This is how your friends look at you when you all go clubbing and you’re able to have fun without being drunk.

How are you doing this??

8. When you tell people that you don’t drink alcohol because it’s bitter and they tell you that you’ll get used to it.

No I won’t get used to it. Stop with all this peer pressure.

If you enjoyed this, read this next article about the complete guide to throwing a Nigerian wedding.

The Complete Guide To Throwing a Nigerian Wedding

1. We know it’s a hard life out there for everyone.

2. But then when you’re single, female and live alone, it’s like everything is conspiring against you.

3. Your parents are always trying to get you to move back home.

Uhm…I have a job?

4. And they always want to know if you’re finally in a relationship.

5. There’s always that creepy colleague that keeps asking when he can “come over”.

No. Not now. Not ever.

6. And when you have a male guest over your neighbours are always like:

Is he the one?

7. You love your life but sometimes it can be frustrating.

8. When you’re walking home and you notice someone following you:

If you get any closer I will land you blow.

9. And your landlord assumes your rent is paid for by your parents or a man:

1. Life is hard. Everyday comes with it’s own wahala. So it’s good to sometimes just sit down and…

Here’s a list of the funniest videos on the Internet this week we hope will make you “laugh and forget your name”:

2. You want to fight Nigerian woman?

3. Guess who’s got his dancing shoes on!

4. Shebi they said knock and the door will be opened?

5. It’s a hard life out there for Nigerian boos…

6. It’s an even harder life for Nigerian baes…

7. Introducing…the Ghanaian spiderman:

8. Don’t lie o, which type are you?

9. All hail Odunlade Adekola, the Yoruba Demon:

10. Try not to laugh too much, please…

11. Fellas! Is this you in your wildest dreams or nah?

12. Oya, o ye latecomers, which one are you?

13. Hayturrzzzzzz!!!!!!!

14. But it’s only injection na…

15. You say wot???

16. “Aje ku iya ni o jeeeeee!!!!!!”

If you want to continue laughing to completely forget your name, you should check out this next post:

1. When you’re separating from friends (e.g when you’re done with NYSC) and you promise you’ll keep in touch.

But deep down you know you never will.

2. When your phone rings and you see that it’s someone you promised to keep in touch with so you don’t pick.

Because you know they’ll judge you for not keeping your promise.

3. When an old friend calls you and is like “You just forgot about me” and you’re like “NO! It’s not like that na.”

But it really has been like that. You really did forget about him/her.

4. When you see an old friend in public and you hide because you don’t want to have to explain why you haven’t been calling like you said you would.

I don’t want to have to lie abeg.

5. This is your face when the person sees you first so you can’t hide and you have to explain yourself.

Ehn…….I’ve been in a coma since we last saw. I just woke up this morning.

6. When you actually want to call someone but you don’t want them to think that you miss them too much so you don’t call.

Because you have pride. And yes, what was just described above is a real reason some people fail to keep in touch.

7. When you decide that someone isn’t worth calling because you weren’t even friends for that long but then you immediately feel guilty because it occurs to you that the person may have actually valued the friendship.

I am lowkey a terrible person.

8. This is you trying to respond to a funny post on Facebook and hoping that that person whose “How far?”message you’ve been ignoring doesn’t see you.

SHAME! SHAME!! SHAME!!!

If you enjoyed reading this, go on to take this quiz to find out which friend you are in your friend group.

QUIZ: Which Friend Are You In Your Clique?

1. Playing with sand in the name of “Mummy and Daddy”:

Even though you could never even really eat the food.

2. When you fail ordinary exam and it’s like the world has ended.

Are you the furst?

3. Going to night class to study like our lives depended on it:

Maybe it did…but just look at now. Look at.

4. The way you dressed for your first job interview:

Trying to confuse them into hiring you.

5. Calling this “blow blow”:

6. How you fought to sit next to that new classmate that just came from jand:

7. Then all your stationery mysteriously goes missing so you have to borrow everything from that classmate because theirs is from jand.

8. The way you begged your parents to get you this pair of sneakers:

9. Filling this with sand so you could use it as a cellphone:

10. When someone who isn’t in your group is trying to play with you:

11. Your list of noisemakers when it was finally your turn to write it:

12. When they say, “Make a big circle”, and you replied with, “Like your mother’s cooking pot”…

…and then fought over whose mother’s cooking pot it was…SMH

13. This plastic doll that caused too much wahala because they all looked the same:

14. Sharing a stick of Goody Goody and fighting over who got the bigger half.

15. Pretending to faint during Inter-house sports just so you can get some Glucose D.

16. Sneaking this into school to prove that you have “chopped liver”.

17. Writing your name inside your pen just so no one can steal it…

…but they always did!

18. Hiding your classwork so no one can copy you…

…but have we all not finished school like this?

And now, if you’re #TeamNatural, this is your life in 22 photos:

When it comes to saving money, Nigerian mothers are the bosses of that! So when Nigerians started sharing the hilarious ways their mothers saved money using #SaveLikeMum on Twitter, we decided to jump on it, as per, carrying last is not our portion.

1. When the school bus becomes expensive, your Nigerian mum be like:

Lap yourselves o!

2. How the toothpaste in your house looks like:

As per, nothing must waste.

3. When you tell your mum you want ice-cream.

Choose one.

4. You, when she effortlessly prices something from N3,000 to N200.

Na jazz?

5. When she cuts your pocket money by half and asks you to share that half with your siblings.

Na wa o!

6. When she turns your old bedsheets into curtains.

Ahn ahn! Mummy sharp guy!

7. Her idea of ‘turning up on a budget’:

There is always rice at home.

8. When you realize you can win 20k for your mom with the #SaveLikeMum Meme Contest on Twitter.

Yasss!

This is not a joke! I repeat, this is not banter!

 For a chance to win N20K, follow @myaccessbank on Twitter and share a hilarious #SaveLikeMum caption and meme!

1. How you feel when you wake up in the morning:

Can I just lie here forever and not go anywhere?

2. You trying to decide what to do to your hair:

Do I pack it? Twist it? Roll it?

3. When you’ve used every hair product you own but the thing just won’t cooperate:

But why are you doing me like this?!!

4. So you decide to just cover the hair with scarf.

Lemme just jejely tie turban.

5. You start to think of styles you can tie:

Do I tie it to the front, the side or the back? Do I leave my hair out? Or should I just cover the whole thing?

6. You when somebody asks why you’re covering your head:

Is it your consign?

7. And when people start to ask you when you’re making your hair:

It’s MY HAIR! I will make it when I make it.

8. How you walk into the salon to get your hair done:

Please! Save me!!

9. When the hairdresser gets your style:

Can I kiss you?

10. You when you leave the salon:

Yaas beeches! I’m now ready for y’all.

Hair has wahala sha, particularly black hair, and this next post is proof:

1. You will always have space for your legs in buses.

So you don’t have to rush for the front seat.

2. You can secretly shop for clothes in the children’s section of stores.

And people will never know!

3. You will never be too tall for a bed.

Also your legs will never stick out from under your blanket.

4. You can fit in small spaces if you ever need to hide.

You never know when a serial killer will come after you.

5. You never have to worry about hitting your head on stuff.

So all you have to do now is sit back and wait for it to happen to the tall people. Lol

6. People will think you’re younger than you actually are.

Sometimes they’ll just wonder if you’re an old looking child or a really short adult.

7. Children will love you.

Because they’ll think you’re one of them. LOL!

8. People will instinctively want to protect and look out for you.

If you’re a terrible person, don’t expect this to apply to you.

9. You will always get to be in the front of every group picture.

This is a good thing. Now, everybody will properly see your slay!

10. You can use your tall friends to shield yourself from the sun.

They make fun of you all the time. The least they can do is protect you from the sun.

11. You get to sit on a bench and swing your legs.

Remember when you were a kid and you would do this? This is a chance for you to relive your childhood.

12. You get the chance to say this.

Even if most times it’s not true.

13. You will ALWAYS be seen as adorable.

Cute and cuddly. Just like Timmy from Passions.

As you’ve read about the advantages of being short, read this next article about the struggles of a fat person in Nigeria.

13 Times Fat People Have Felt Like Strangling Your Bony Asses To Death

1. Girl to Guy: “Is it in?”

2. Are you done?

3. This feels so much better when the other person is alive.

4. Girl to Guy: “You’re much better at this than that mad man down the street”.

5. Wait. Na who dey shop?

6. This is so good. I wonder why my doctor said I’ll never be able to have unprotected sex again after I was diagnosed with AIDS.

7. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SYPHILIS!

8. Guy to Girl: “Why does it smell like fish?”

9. Guy to Girl: “You’re even sweeter than your mother”

10. Wait. I wan go shit.

11. Abeg, next time shave. I feel like I’m having sex with a hairbrush.

12. Girl to Guy: “Just use your finger. It’s bigger”.

13. Let’s finish this quickly. The alcohol is wearing off and my standards are getting high again.

14. When you’re close to ejaculation, turn your head 360 degrees and start screaming “THE ANTI-CHRIST IS COMING!!!”

15. Guy to Girl: “My mom has this exact same bra”.

Seeing as you enjoyed this article (which of course you did because it was awesome), read this next article about how Nigerian parents teach sex education.

The Nigerian Parent’s Guide To ‘Sex Education’

It’s really impossible not to tell when a Nigerian woman is sending you signals.

Seriously. If a Nigerian woman likes you ehn, she can be as obvious and shameless as Oga Dino Melaye showing off his musical skills.

“A je kun iya ni…” Okay, you get the point sha.

Oya sit down and take notes.

When a Nigerian woman is sending you signals, you should see all or some of these things:

1. When you’re talking about sports and she’s looking at you like this:

If she’s NOT normally into sports, odds are she’s not really interested in what you’re saying but just the fact that you’re talking.

2. If she calls you “big head”, “mumu boy” a couple times a day, it’s really reverse psychology.

It’s not an insult, it’s more of an endearment. Just insert “my” before the “big head” and “mumu boy”.

3. She’ll do funny things at you with her eyes.

She’ll try not to be too obvious with the winking thing. She’ll fail woefully at it.

4. She’ll laugh at everything you say.

Like, not AT you sha. More of with you. Or because of you. But she’ll really find everything you say HI.LA.RI.O.US!

5. She’ll sha be touching you.

But not like in a creepy way. More like in a “ooo, let me see your watch. The strap is sooo smoooth” kind of way.

6. She’ll lean on your shoulders, play with your face, poke your stomach…

…you sha get. Think: Winnie the Pooh and his good friend Christopher Robin, where she is Christopher Robin. She’ll want to play with you like a teddy bear. Odds are she might have even named her teddy bear after you.

7. She’ll ask you, a hundred times a day, if you’ve eaten.

It is not only a Nigerian mother thing. Your physical welfare is her utmost concern.

8. She’ll give you a full frontal hug.

A complete full frontal hug with two arms around you, not just one.

9. However, if you find that you are not sure how to tell the signals she is giving you, then odds are she ISN’T. Abort Mission! Repeat: ABORT MISSION!

For more Zikoko Guides, see this one about making a Nigerian horror movie:

When it comes to adventures, food lovers have the most fun – they get to eat food from different places and manage to stay healthy while at it. This Irish potato pottage recipe, Gwote Dankali,  from the breathtaking city of Jos is definitely one tasty journey foodies like us can’t wait to go on.

1. To cook this meal, you’ll need:

2. First, wash and chop all your vegetables before heating up two cooking spoons of vegetable oil in a pot for a few minutes.

3. Add the ginger, garlic, onions and chicken, fry this until the chicken turns golden brown.

4. Next, add chicken stock and peppers – cook on low heat for 15 minutes until the chicken becomes tender.

5. Next, add the potatoes and carrots, leave this to simmer for 20 minutes.

6. It’s time to add the flour and milk for that thick and creamy consistency.

7. Finally, add the green peas and the rest of the vegetables to the pot, cover with a tight lid and cook for just 5 minutes.

8. At this point, your yummy Gwote Dankali is pipping hot and ready to eat!

Want to see exactly how this dish was made? Watch the recipe with exact measurements in the video below:

If you love Nigerian food, catch up with the latest episodes of Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria.

Nigerians can form!

But it’s not our fault sha. It’s a result of too much eyeing from our parents.

One topic Nigerians like to form about is sex. They’ll be forming Innocent Idibia meanwhile their own worse pass.

But the following tweets about sex toys is proof that Nigerians are not so shy when it comes to sex and other kinky stuff, they just prefer to tweet about it.

1. The hidden meaning in this is just too painful to think about!

2. But…why???

3. This one is Big Brother’s fault.

4. Ngbo? Yoruba movie directors, if you’re guilty raise your hand.

5. Ah, Chukkie, eleyi ma gidi gaan…

6. But why are you peepu like dis?

7. But why is your mind like this?

8. For birthday gift again? Issorai!

9. That’s how this one just spoiled someone’s whole song.

10. Chukkie! Again?!!

11. Cucumbers? Rocks? Come on people!

12. Ehwu! Firewood?

13. But is it your celibate?

Nigerians, I’m done with y’all.

So from all we’ve learned about Nigerians with these tweets, here is a post on 15 hilariously horrifying things we’re very sure a Nigerian would say during sex:

You Nigerians are just one kind, I’m leaving this country to go back to Ekiti. BYEE!!