Not every time Jollof rice, sometimes try the healthy dish that is coconut rice. Blessed with so many coconut trees, Badagry people sure know how to make a mean rice dish with coconut. As usual, we’ll be blessing you with this quick recipe –  don’t say we don’t do nice things for you!

1. For the rice, you’ll need:

2. First, you’ll need to break the coconut to get the most important ingredient, the coconut meat.

3. Next, blend the coconut meat with water until smooth.

4. Boil the coconut milk with meat stock for some minutes.

5. Add the washed rice, pepper, onions and of course, season with Maggi cubes and Maggi Mixpy for that extra spicy taste – cook this until the rice becomes soft.

6. Next, add the prawns, chopped bell peppers and the rest of the vegetables to the cooking pot.

7. Cover the pot with a sheet of foil paper- let it simmer for 10 minutes.

8. Stir together with a wooden spoon and your delicious coconut rice is done!

You can watch the breakdown of this recipe in the video below:

Don’t forget to check out more recipes from all over Nigeria on Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria.

Make sure to look out for the ‘Delicious Naija’ show at these times on your TV:  7:30 pm, Friday on Arewa24,  7:30 pm, Saturday on Africa Magic (Family) , 5 pm, Sunday on NTA,   OR just watch it online right now!

When the teacher announces that there will be a class assignment

Why everything gotta be an assignment?

But the deadline is still far away so you take your time

You when you realise the deadline is the following day

Then the teacher extends the deadline after you spent the entire night working on it

When you’re given multiple assignments with the same deadline

You waiting for your teacher to forget about the assignment

Please Lord, let the spirit of forgetfulness come over this woman.

When that oversabi classmate decides to remind the teacher about the assignment

You’re dead to me.

When you just find out about an assignment a day to the deadline

What assignment? When? How? Why? Where?

So Google becomes your friend

The only educational tool you need.

1. Ensure to make frequent unscheduled visits to your neighbour’s house.

Feel free to “stop by” unannounced. They’re just right next door anyways, why waste your money on a simple call or text message?

2. Be ready to lend your neighbour any and every thing.

Nothing is off limits; from tomato paste to phone charger to bed sheet. You must be ready to give it all as a good Nigerian neighbour. There should be no “no” in your dictionary, only “yes” and “is that enough?”

3. Always keep your neighbour abreast of good ol’ fashioned neighbourhood gossip.

A neighbour is better than a newspaper, they know everything. Keep your ear to the ground so you know who’s talking about who, when they were doing the talking, why they were doing the talking and what they were talking about.

4. Be the security camera your neighbour has always wanted but could never afford.

After all, why are you now neighbours? You must keep watch on any and every coming and going. Especially when one particular mysterious car always seems to show up at one particular time every day just after your neighbour’s spouse returns from work. *suspicious*

5. Always try to eavesdrop on your neighbour a little.

How else would you know all about that thing they’ve been trying not to let you know and of which is not your business to know? They’re probably too embarrassed about it, so just listen in just in case.

6. Set up your generator as close to your neighbour’s house as possible.

That way, every time you switch it on at 7pm, they’ll know.

7. Always leave your door open so your neighbour can enter whenever they need to.

You can’t just be locking door anyhow, are you in a prison?

8. Always receive messages for your neighbour.

It’s not like the visitor who didn’t meet them at home could just ring them up or slip a note under their door. When you’re there, why bother them with having to write again?

9. You must always help your neighbour discipline their children.

Does it not take a village? Why are you now there? You must teach that child to always bend her back when she’s sweeping and caution her to stop playing too loud and too rough on the street.

10. Now that you know all you need to about being a good Nigerian neighbour, here’s a post that perfectly describes all the wahala that comes with having troublesome neighbours:

1. The face your parents make when you tell them what you do:

2. How your parents look at you when you start explaining what the job entails:

3. But internally they’re really like:

What is this child saying? I’m not hearing bank or firm. What kind of job is content developing? What content are they developing? Is it like an Estate Developer?

4. And then they are like, “But how much are they paying you?”

Because it’s really all about the money.

5. When they hear the amount and it’s a lot more than they expected:

6. When they hear the amount and it’s less than they expected:

7. Then they say, “So this is what you want to do with your life now?”

8. How they look at you when you try to explain that the job is your passion:

Is it passion you will eat?

9. When they keep telling you about “real” job vacancies:

But I already have a job na.

10. When you have to always remind them what you do:

So your phone has fallen from your hand. Everything suddenly goes into slow motion. You’re frozen. You’re broke at the moment so if anything happens to this phone you are royally screwed. If this has ever happened to you, these were the thoughts that most likely went through your mind in the split second it took your phone to hit the floor.

1. MOGBE!!!!!!!!!!

HAY GOD!!!!!!!

2. You remember that you JUST bought this phone 2 weeks ago. You spent a lot of money buying it too which means that you’ve gone above your monthly budget. You’re kinda broke.

Who sent me message?

3. You think about how much money it’ll cost to fix if the screen breaks.

iPhone wahala.

4. You think about the stress of going to computer village to fix the phone and how you’ll most likely get robbed there.

That place sef ehn!

5. You think of what it’ll be like to be phoneless for the couple of days it’ll take to fix.

The boredom WILL be real.

6. You think of all the relatives you could ask for money.

Let me call them now and say that i “just called to greet them”.

7. And then you think, what if other things spoil along with the screen?

AH! Charging port! Mouth Piece!!

8. You start thinking of all the people owing you money.

You all shall pay!

9. By this time the phone has hit the floor. You pick it up. Your heart is beating.

Lord please let everything be okay!

10. The screen is intact. Everything is fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE!!!

YASSS GAWD!!!!!

Enjoyed this article? Of course you did. To keep the fun going, check out this article about the 10 hilarious reactions people have when their phones ring.

10 Reactions We Have When Our Phones Ring

1. You will get there and find out that everything is insanely overpriced.

Jesus!

2. The moment you get there, all the people selling stuff will come down on you like vultures on a corpse.

AUNTY! YOU WAN BUY SHIRT?! I GET FINE JEANS TROUSERS FOR YOU OH!!!

3. If you’re fat, one of them will rudely scream at you that they have your size.

ARE YOU MAD?! DID I TELL YOU THAT I HAVE PROBLEM FINDING MY SIZE??!

4. Someone will try and sell you something that is obviously fake all the while violently insisting that it’s original.

But Sir, WHY is the Puma smoking weed??!!!

5. There will be one guy who approaches you the moment you get to the market, will stick with you the entire time you’re there and then when you’re done, will ask you for money.

Listen. it’s not like I don’t appreciate the fact that you followed me around all day for some reason, but why are you disturbing me? Did I call you?

6. Those Hausa guys in long flowing Senegalese natives will ask you if you want to change dollars.

But all i’m carrying is a poly bag. Who brings dollars to the market to change IN A POLY BAG??! LOL

7. When you get home, you’ll find at least one ridiculously ugly shirt that will make you wonder just what the hell you were thinking when you decided to buy it.

What even is this?? Did they jazz me??

8. You will also find out that one of the things you bought for a ridiculous amount of money, is not your size.

Jesus NO!

Enjoyed this article about clothes shopping in Yaba Market? Then you’ll love this one about the Zikoko guide to shopping in Nigerian markets.

The Zikoko Guide To Shopping In Nigerian Markets

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1. The Foodies

For these ones, watching a movie at the cinema is never complete without some food to go with it. And this is not just the regular popcorn, shawarma/hotdog with soda kind of food. I’m talking Shoprite spaghetti/seafood paella with fried chicken. There are even those that will go traditional with a bowl of amala and gbegiri to enjoy their movie. Yes. You read that right. Amala and its trusted sidekick, gbegiri.

2. The Inquisitioners

These ones can ask so many questions during the course of the movie that you’ll start to wonder if you’re in the cinema or in the examination hall writing JAMB. From the beginning of the movie, they’ll want to know who Dreamworks is and why there is a boy sitting on the moon. “Aunty, watch and find out na”.

3. The Ones Who Come With Spoilers

Also known as the ITKs, these ones will be feeling like they joined to act the movie. They’re constantly dropping hints on various scenes in the movie and can very well ruin the surprise for you – especially if the surprise was all that you were looking forward to. They’ll be forming, “I know what happens”. Uncle, who asked you?

4. The Scream Queens

These ones just like to shout. Whether it’s a horror movie, action movie or romantic comedy, their mouths are perpetually open and screaming, “Ooh! Ahh! Aww! Eeww!” Any sound that can be made will be made by them. There is no such thing like a quiet cinema when they are around.

5. The Commentators

They are almost like the ones that give spoilers except they don’t know anything about the movie so they just comment on everything that is happening like the entire cinema can’t see it for themselves. They’ll be shouting, “You see, you see, he’ll kiss her now”. Err…oga, we know.

6. The Ones Who Wait For Post Credit Scenes

These are the ones that know whazzup. They did not come to the cinema to play. They are the real movie buffs that know to wait after the movie looks like it has finished because they know that the best part is always saved for last. As per, bottom pot na im sweet pass.

7. The Ones Who Don’t Wait For The Post Credit Scenes

These ones are just learners. If by 2017 you haven’t learned to wait for post credit scenes after a movie, you definitely know nothing. Or you don’t care. Either way, these ones who walk out immediately after the movie are either JJCs (Johnny Just Come) or IJDWF ( I Just Dey Watch Feem), and they’re all missing out on something special.

8. The Ones Who Just Come To Canoodle

For these set of cinema goers, it’s not about the movie or the post credit scene, they just came to find a place to conduct their funny business. Maybe it’s the dark ambiance of the cinema, the soft chairs or the fact that they feel nobody can hear or see them. Whatever the case, coming to the cinema for these ones is about more than screaming at the screen. They usually prefer sitting in the corners to avoid being spotted, but we all know what they’re doing in the dark.

Now here’s a complete list of all the stressful things that involve going to the cinema:

1. When you get that “we are pleased to offer you” mail.

Thank you Jesus! All my enemies that said I will not find work during recession have been put to shame!

2. You calculating how your new salary will change your life:

3. You on the first day of the new job:

I gotta make a good first impression.

4. You burst into the office like:

Hey! Hey! Hey!  Guess who’s here!!

5. And everyone looks at you like:

Yes? Can we help you?

6. How it feels when your boss introduces you to your colleagues:

7. How your colleagues are really looking at you:

What’s this one feeling like now?

8. You trying to make friends:

9. When you’re in the office meeting but you have no idea what they’re saying:

Are you people even speaking English?

10. You trying to understand the inside jokes:

Why are they laughing? Is it me? Should I be laughing too?

11. When your boss finishes explaining your assignment for the day and asks, “do you have any questions?”

No…nope…nada…zilch…

12. But on the inside you’re really like:

13. When your colleagues give you a nickname because they can’t remember your name:

14. How you feel at the end of the day:

I just want to go home and cry.

15. When your boss asks you if you’re enjoying your work so far:

So that you will now fire me abi?

16. When you get home and they ask you how your first day at work was:

Please, please, just leave me abeg.

And now, here’s a post for all of you who like to do play play anyhow at work.

What other crazy things did you experience when you first started your job?

1. When you’re in a bus and someone taps you to ask a question so you start screaming.

GET BEHIND ME SATAN! IT IS NOT ME YOU WILL JAZZ!!

2. When you’re having a drink with friends and you have to go pee so you leave your drink, come back and immediately start wondering if one them poisoned the drink while you were gone.

Or what if all of them joined hand to poison me?

3. When you’re travelling and the car breaks down but you believe they’ve taken you to a kidnapper’s den to be slaughtered.

SAVE ME JESUS!

4. When you’re walking at night and you see a black cat so you freak out.

Bad luck is not my portion!

5. When you’re walking through Oshodi and someone randomly hits you so you check to see if your penis is still in place.

MY PENIS IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!!!

6. When an old woman with arthritis begs you to help her cross the road but you start running because you’re sure your evil grand mother from the village has come to destroy your destiny.

I see through your disguise granny!

7. When a female friend cooks for you and you wonder if she put jazz in the food to trap you as a love slave.

I saw that Nigerian movie with R.M.D. It’s not me that will be washing pant.

8. When your suspicious looking neighbor shakes your hand while greeting you so you immediately go home and soak that hand in anointing oil.

Oil of Christ, wash me clean!

Liked this article? Then you’ll love this one about all the times Nigerians had serious trust issues.

10 Times Nigerians Had Serious Trust Issues

We’ve all had that one ex that did us wrong. Broke our hearts and left it shattered in the street.

Whether your ex boy- or girlfriend cheated on you, dumped you, stole all your money and ran away with your best friend, you’ve probably thought about doing some or all of these things to them:

1. Whistle-blowing their ass to the EFCC.

The rationale behind this is simple: If you can no longer enjoy their money – especially if it was made illegally – at least this way you’ll still get 5 percent of it.

2. Setting their clothes on fire.

Okay, this is extreme, but you know you’ve thought about doing it. If you burn their clothes they will no longer have any fine thing to wear and can no longer be doing “notice me” up and down.

3. Ordering a bunch of things online with their debit card.

If you stayed long enough with your ex, you’d probably have their card information in your browser history. If you get caught, you can easily claim it was a mistake. And if you don’t, you’d have bought yourself out of the heartbreak.

4. Blackmail.

Another extreme, but it’s just a thought, isn’t it? Odds are you’d have some incriminating information on the ex. An embarrassing video, proof of some sinister or illegal act, or the good old “noods” that could just “leak” and ruin their career.

5. Hack their social media accounts.

If your ex is a social media cool kid, this one might actually set them off the edge more than the others. They’d most likely have logged into their account with your phone or laptop, so getting in might not be a problem. You could choose a plethora of options: From posting random things you know they wouldn’t, to outright deleting the account and watch them panic with glee. Yes, evil, but again, just a thought.

6. Troll their social media accounts.

Many a social media accounts have been set up for just this very purpose. Trolling an ex on social media is most likely the top thing you’ve thought about doing to an ex. The benefits are twofold; on the one hand, you get to keep tabs without risking your ex finding out you’re monitoring them online, and on the other hand, you get to make their online life miserable almost in the same way your real life was following the break up.

7. “Slightly” messing up their car.

If the break up was a really hard one, all that pent up anger might have made you consider getting physical and smashing up your exes’ property. Say for instance, their car. It could feel good to break something belonging to someone who did you so much wrong, but you would have to bolt out of there as fast as you can so you don’t get caught. The law might not exactly be on your side.

When an ex does you wrong, sometimes you just want to scream:

It can really pain.

However, please be advised that this is only a hypothetical list and not an endorsement to carry out any, some or all of these actions.

In the end, you just have to find a way to deal with your heart break, even if that means confronting your ex just like #hurtbae did. Remember her?

1. When they try to start a conversation.

Mr. Barber. I came here to get my hair cut (obviously), I didn’t come here to gist. So stop asking me about how my day was or if my sister is seeing anybody at the moment. I also don’t want to talk about how awesome the match was between Chelsea and Man United. Also, getting a haircut, for some people, is a very relaxing thing so PLEASE don’t try and talk to me about politics. I am already stressed. Talking about Nigeria’s problems makes things worse.

2. When they slice your head open with their insanely sharp clipper.

Mr. Barber. I’m happy that your clipper has been sharpened and is now set to cut my hair and shave my beard properly. I have to ask one question sha. ARE WE FIGHTING?! AH AHN?! Why do you always slice my  head like you’re trying to open  a can of Geisha? Even when you shave my beard, there’s always blood everywhere. Are you trying to give me AIDS? If I’ve offended you in the past, I’m sorry. Let us bury the hatchet please!

3. When they pour the spirit on your head without warning and you’re like “sssssssssss!”

Mr. Barber. I get that I am a man and I’m supposed to be tough. But when you just pour the spirit on my head without warning, it hurts. It hurts so bad that I want to scream like a 10 year old girl but I can’t because people will look at me somehow. Edakun, warn me so that I’ll prepare myself mentally to bear the pain.

4. When they take breaks (while cutting your hair) to pick a song to play.

Mr. Barber. This one is just annoying. I know that I said that getting my haircut is a relaxing thing for me but it doesn’t mean I want to spend all day here. Don’t be leaving my head to go and search for the perfect club banger on your phone to give me headache with. It’s very annoying because after wasting all that time looking for songs, you still end up playing complete trash. So either you let a movie on African magic play in peace and or you turn everything off because I did not come here to waste time while listening to Terry G’s greatest hits. Also, don’t sing along to the music when you’re so close to my face. I don’t want to feel your hot breath on my cheek and I’m not trying to be mean but your voice is terrible.

5. When they use too much powder and forget to dust it off when they’re done.

Mr. Barber. I get that the white powder you apply is supposed to make me look fresh or whatever but why do you always have to over do it? You apply so much powder that it gets to places I can’t see even with a mirror (the back of my head and neck) and then you let me leave your shop in broad daylight looking like I have leprosy or like I just took a dive into a pool of cocaine. You’ve destroyed my reputation because many people now think I do drugs. It’s not fair. Like I said before, if I offended you in the past, tell me so I can apologize. Ehn, I’m sorry.

Enjoyed this article about Nigerian Barbers? Sure you did! And you’re in luck because there’s more! Check out this article about 15 Pictures Anyone With A Nigerian Barber Can Relate To.

15 Pictures That Are Too Real For People With A Nigerian Barber

Once again, our very own President Buhari is making the headlines.

Don’t worry, he hasn’t traveled to obodo again.

He only moved his work from his office to his house.

Yup.

Appaz, he’s liking the way all this people are staying at home and getting stuff done and he’s not about all that nine to five struggle life.

Okay, no…not exactly.

According to his presidential mouthpiece, Min. Lai Mohammed, the president had missed yesterday’s Federal Executive Council Meeting for the second time this month, because he felt slightly under the weather and decided to work from home for the rest of the day.

But Nigerians are not buying it.

And in true Nigerian fashion, they are letting their anger and skepticism show. See some of the reactions below:

1. There appears to be some confusion on the president’s actual working space.

2. Wait…wait…wait…who brought in the other room now?

3. But is it not good that our president is embracing all the opportunities of the Internet?

4. But Oga Lai is not holding him na?

5. Ah, it’s like the Oba of Lagos has become the new curve meme of April 2017.

6. But what if the president is looking for a career change?

7. You know, no matter how comfortable, office can never be like house na.

8. Er…erm…good luck with that.

9. Er…we were never really sure about Reno’s nuggets anyways, so we shall handle this advice with care.

10. But why did y’all have to go and drag Mugabe into it?

11. From blogger to marketer; if this president thing doesn’t work out, Daddy Bubu appears to have many other career options.

12. But…but…that was before before now…

13. Because Daddy Bubu said he’s now working from home they’ve already gone to give him homework.

14. But he already told you he belongs to nobody…

15. But what is wrong with being part of the #WorkingFromHomeGang?

16. And now, Daddy Bubu has become Daddy Emperor!

17. Meanwhile, this one wants to receive lectures from home.

18. Strong predictions for Daddy Bubu’s proposed blogging career:

19. It however appears that the #WorkingFromHomeGang has got Daddy Bubu’s back.

1. You when you hear your parents are travelling for the weekend:

Home Alone 4! It’s time to party! Sleep over of life! No Saturday cleaning!

2. You start planning how to throw the coolest party for all your friends.

3. Then your parents sit you down to give you the rules of engagement while they will be away.

You must go to bed at 8. Put off the gen at 7. Nobody must enter the house.

4. And your mother gives you a list of chores to “keep busy”.

…because an idle mind is the devil’s workshop and you don’t want to help the devil to start making furniture.

5. But you already know you will put off the work until the last minute.

6. When your parents ask a neighbour to “check in on you from time to time”.

They say it is in case of an emergency, but you know the real reason is so they can keep an eye on you.

7. But you’re smarter than that.

Only learners get caught and you ain’t no learner.

8. You invite your friends over in the morning.

And tell them to come with books so it looks like y’all are studying.

9. Your parents call like every five minutes to “check in”.

You probably talk to them more in that one weekend than you ever did in your entire life.

10. And during every call, they’re suspicious of every noise and ask you a dozen questions every time.

Where are you? What is that noise? Have you locked the gate? Have you put off the generator? Have you started sleeping? Did you invite anybody to the house?

11. You handle the calls like a pro and try to keep your voice mellow even though you’re hyped up on too much sugar they had warned you not to have.

12. What your parents imagine you’re doing while they’re away:

13. What you wish you were doing:

…if your friends hadn’t bailed on you.

14. What you are actually doing:

15. When your parents call to tell you they’re on their way back home:

So soon? Why the rush?

16. How they expect to find the house:

17. Their reaction when the house is neat and tidy, all your chores are done and you even have food prepared for them:

18. And then they ask you, “So what happened while we were away?”

Like you’re going to tell them everything. Uh…nothing much.

Benue is legit the food basket of the nation. Why? The soil there is so dope, it grows a large variety of Nigeria’s diverse food crops – also, you can totally get served a pounded yam dish with 8 different soups!

But we are not just here to talk about the awesomeness of Benue state. If you are a real foodie like us, this mouth-watering pounded yam and Esa soup recipe from Benue will make you happy and warm inside.

For the soup, your ingredients are:

First, season the washed chicken with onions and Maggi cubes – put in a pot and cook under medium heat until tender.

Next, dry-fry the Beni-seeds (aka Esa) in a sauce pan for 5 minutes until they start to make a popping sound.

Next, blend the dried seeds and mix with blended onions. Set this aside and get to washing the rest of the ingredients.

Next, add the fishes, pepper, locust beans, crayfish and a spoonful of palm oil to the chicken stock. Stir properly and cook this for 20 minutes.

Season with Maggi cubes and a pinch of salt before adding the beni-seeds and onion paste. Let this simmer for 10 minutes.

Next, add your vegetables, cook for two minutes and your soup is ready!

And that’s how to make a healthy pot of soup, Benue style!

Yummy!

You can sharpen your foodie skills by keeping up with mouth-watering dishes on Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria.

Make sure to look out for the ‘Delicious Naija’ show at these times on your TV:  7:30 pm, Friday on Arewa24,  7:30 pm, Saturday on Africa Magic (Family) , 5 pm, Sunday on NTA,  OR  just watch it online right now!

1. How the characters start singing and dancing every 5 minutes.

No matter the situation.

2. How they only kiss on the forehead.

Is there a law against kissing on the lips? Because I’m still confused.

3. How they cry anyhow at their weddings.

But nobody died na. Why all these tears??

4. Breeze blowing their hair every time. Even when they’re indoors.

Where is all this breeze coming from?!

5. All the unnecessary slow motion.

But why??

6. There’s a love story in EVERY movie.

It could be a movie about how Cain killed Abel and they’d still find a way to force a love story inside with the background characters.

7. The two characters in love will get caught in the rain at some point and will decide to play in it.

It’s like you people like having catarrh.

8. The translations of the songs into English never make sense.

What the hell?! LOL

9. The main characters always somehow end up in foreign countries when singing love songs to each other.

Na jazz? LOL

10. The insane special effects.

I’m dead. LMAO!

Loved this article about Indian movies? Here’s an article about our 10 favorite actors from Zee World.

10 Of Our Favourite Indian Actors From Zee World!

If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that Africans in Africa have started producing their own content. We have African TV shows, African movies, Africa-focused fashion magazines, tech blogs, the whole shebang. This is because Africans are SICK and TIRED of the sheer Westernization of our people and a lot of people are beginning to worry about the non-representation of Africans in the media. It’s just nice to turn on the TV and see someone who looks like you talk about the things you care about, you know? Not everytime espresso. Sometimes egusi and jollof (not necessarily simultaneously.) Last week, we had an in-house challenge to watch some of our favorite foreign cartoons to see if Africans were represented somewhat and discovered something even more interesting – Nigerians HAVE been mentioned in foreign cartoons, and for notorious reasons. After reading this, will you be amused, upset or downright furious? We’ll let you decide!

Rick and Morty

I had to watch this twice to get it, but there’s an episode where Rick is abducted by aliens who are trying to scam him into revealing the secret for making dark matter (yes, it’s a very science fictiony show). In one scene, Rick is seen telling Morty “They are Zigerion scammers, Morty. The galaxy’s most ambitious, least successful scammers.” In a Rick and Morty fan discussion forum, it has been confirmed that the word ‘Zigerion’ is a modification of ‘Nigerian’ and it was an allusion to Nigerians being scammers with ridiculous scam techniques. (Random: the Zigerions were very uncomfortable with looking at the naked bodies of Rick and Morty.)

Family Guy

In this irreverent cartoon show that mocks popular culture, Peter Griffin’s Father-in-law, Carter Pewterschmidt is scammed by a ‘Nigerian Prince’ and angrily goes to Africa to bring justice to his scammers. When he gets there, he discovers, in a stunning twist of fate, that the Nigerians have used his money to take care of the poor starving African orphans. He is celebrated as a hero for all the money he ‘sent’ to Nigeria. (Bonus: ‘Family Guy’ depicted ‘Uber rides in Nigeria’ as villagers riding about on the back of a rhinoceros.)

The Simpsons

Brace yourself: this one has a lot of Nigerian scammer jokes, although the actual story isn’t about Nigerian scams. In this episode, the King of Nigeria visits Nigeria and gives Homer Simpson the task of taking care of his daughter. And Homer Simpson…misplaces her. Hilarity and Nigerian stereotypes ensue. (Bonus: on the night this episode was released, it was the second most watched show on FOX, with 3.93 million views. Nigerians winning?)

Futurama

In this episode, Zoidberg receives a scam email and he rushes to tell his friends about it: He tells them: “Friends, friends! His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died and according to this e-mail, I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin. Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, I’ll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. To which Hermes, one of his friends, says: “You dumb stumps. Don’t you realize you’re being scammed?”

In other news, here are our favorite cartoons from the 90’s (warning: a lot of memories are about to be unlocked):

25 of Our Favorite Cartoons From the 90s

1. Washing Toilets

Remember what your school’s hostel toilets looked like and you’ll understand why this is a big deal.

2. Becoming the official errand boy for all the seniors.

Just cancel any plans you might have made that day.

3. Lying down under a senior’s bunk for hours.

You’ll have time to think about all the mistakes you’ve ever made in your life.

4. Frog Jump

You won’t be able to walk after.

5. Pick Pin

The ultimate torture technique.

6. Driving Motorcycle

Look on the bright side, this is a good tummy exercise. So thank that wicked senior for the six pack you have now.

7. Sucking your thumb

This one was funny and painful at the same time.

8. When a senior tells you to use your knees to walk across a tarred road.

Is this not wickedness? Do you think you’ll enter heaven like this?

If you were able to relate to this article, then you’ll love this next one about how boarding school skills helped us survive in Nigeria.

http://zikoko.com/list/9-life-skills-boarding-school-taught-us/

If you are on WhatsApp, you most likely would have found yourself in or are even presently in one or three or more groups.

And if you’ve been in a WhatsApp group, you’re sure to find these five kinds of people:

1. The BroadCasters

They just love to send broadcast messages anyhow. They could have a future in mass communication if they wanted. From videos to images to lengthy posts that require endless re-posting for their potency, these ones will not hesitate to send it all.

2. The Opinion-Seekers

They will bring a topic to the group so that everyone can fight. They’ll add occasional words to keep the discussion alive and then sit back and watch people argue.

3. The Information-Seekers

These ones always get lost and need reminding on whatever information had been passed across in the group.

4. The Questionnaires

These ones bring all their questions, worries and concerns to the group chat because their Google subscription has expired and the next option is to ask the WhatsApp group.

5. The Participant-Observer

These ones don’t like to talk too much. They’ll just come and go like ghost in a Nollywood film.

1. You’ll open the question paper and realize that you don’t know anything.

Hay God!

2. You start looking around for an efiko you can copy from.

Open book for me na.

3. This is you when the efiko finally lets you dub.

YASSSSS GAWD!!!

4. This is you when the invigilator catches you and threatens to collect your paper.

PLEASE SIR!! I’M SORRY SIR!!!

5. This is you when the invigilator moves your seat to the front of the class to write the exam alone.

God in heaven, why have you forsaken me?!

6. You’ll start doing nonsense calculation, somehow hoping that you’ll come to an answer that makes sense.

God helps those who help themselves.

7. When the Maths teacher comes into the class to jokingly ask if the questions are too difficult and everybody says no.

Speak for yourselves oh!

8. When you hear the invigilator say “5 minutes more”, you’ll start writing nonsense to fill space on your answer sheet.

Maybe the teacher will pity me if he thinks I actually put effort.

9. This is you when the teacher walks by you to check your work.

Squeeze your face and act like you’re thinking hard.

10. You’ll look back at the class to see if someone can throw last minute dubs to you.

Brethren. Help me.

11. When the invigilator says “Submit!” and you know you’ve failed but you try to hide the tears in your eyes.

Keep your head high.

12. When you get home and your parents ask you how the exam went, you’ll lie and say it was good.

They’ll still find out when the result comes out sha oh.

The worst thing about Maths wasn’t just the exam, the classes were annoying too. Read this next article to find out just how annoying.

22 Things You’ll Understand If Mathematics Was Your Worst Subject

1. WhatsApp groups: You can love them or hate them, but you can never completely live without them.

Whether it’s a WhatsApp group for members of your family, class or work, this one slice of social media bread will be found on every user’s plate.

2. At first, it can be annoying when you’re added to yet another WhatsApp group.

Like, seriously, before WhatsApp how did we even communicate?

3. So you just jejely do ghost-mode and become a participant-observer.

4. And then somebody on the group mentions you in the chat to ask why you don’t contribute.

Ehen? And so? Woz your own?

5. But when gist starts to fly around it can be interesting sha.

6. Although even with the interesting gist, when those broadcast messages start to enter it’s like you should kill somebody.

7. You will hear “PING” and rush to your phone only to find that it is a BC.

8. As angry as you are with other people’s BC, this is you when it is time to send your own:

Please, epp me. I just need you to click the link and vote let me win something for once.

9. When you find 100+ unread messages on the group chat:

Who is going to read all those messages? Not me!

10. Then your data is about to finish and someone will now send a 50mb video:

It’s like something is wrong with you.

11. And it can pain when you don’t have data and gist is flying around the group but you can’t chat.

12. But with your family WhatsApp group, you’re happy because it is an easy way to keep in touch with everyone.

13. But then you quickly realise that it’s really just a platform for your parents to monitor your life.

14. And now here’s a little expo for when you want to leave that annoying WhatsApp group: