1. When you remember your mother telling you “beans will make you tall” but you’re still the size of bedside fridge.
Chai! All that beans I ate.
2. When your father told you to go and wear your shoes to follow him out and then drove off.
The pain is still fresh.
3. When you asked your parents for Game Boy and they got you:
ARE THEY THE SAME?
4. When your primary school told you they were bringing Barney and Father Christmas for the end-of-the-year party and brought:
Who are these ones?
5. When you finally came first and reminded your father that he promised to buy you something.
Ah! Is it like that?
6. When you ask your mother for all the money she has been “helping” you save.
“Have you not been eating in my house?”
7. When your mother told you that you’d see your agemates at the Owambe but you only see adults and toddlers.
The worst.
8. You, the first time you saw someone put stew on their jollof rice.
What is doing you?
9. Whenever you opened that icecream container you saw in the freezer.
THE DISAPPOINTMENT!
10. When your mother that beat you for lying told you to lie that she is not around.
Oh? It’s like that?
11. Whenever you opened those Danish cookies you saw in your mother’s room.
THE BETRAYAL!
12. When that shirt your mother swore you’d “grow into” is still not your size 10 years later.
See why I don’t trust people.
13. When your father just zooms past Mr. Biggs on the way from church.
If we don’t eat meatpie on Sunday, when will we ehn?
14. When your mother that said “let’s be going” an hour ago is still gisting.
Can we go oh?
15. When your mother that said “tell the truth, I won’t beat you” says “go and bring the cane.”
Na me mess up sha.
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