If you weren’t whipped with a cane (and eba stick) or gotten slapped unexpectedly, you probably didn’t grow up in a Nigerian home. Here are 21 things you could get beaten for as a child in a Nigerian home.
1. Not greeting the visitors in your house.
Where is your home training?
2. Staring at the food served for the visitors for more than 3 seconds.
Only cane can cure your long throat.
3. Walking around without any particular aim.
Somebody can’t even take small stroll again.
4. Talking back at an elder.
Talk back, get slapped.
5. Asking for too much food.
Because you must never eat to your fill.
6. Refusing to eat.
But is it your eat?
7. Breaking a plate or glass cup.
RIP to your backside.
8. Crying for no reason.
Sadness is not your option in a Nigerian home.
9. Not shedding adequate amount of tears when you get flogged.
Because only stubborn goats chest cane.
10. Collecting gifts from visitors with open arms.
You must say “Ah no, thank you” while looking out for your mother’s side eye before even dreaming of collecting any gift.
11. Being too happy or excited.
You should always be in a state of solemnness.
12. Looking your parents in the eye when they speak to you.
Your eyes must be fixated on the floor.
13. Looking away from your parent’s face while they’re speaking to you.
You’ve started growing wings abi?
14. Singing right after you got scolded for something wrong you did.
You can’t sing away your sorrows.
15. Buying what you feel like eating with your lunch money.
How dare you spend your twenty Naira lunch money on something other than the salt and pepper biscuits your parents love so much?
16. Sitting while elders stand.
Because, only elders have the right to rest their behinds.
17. Fighting with your agemate and winning.
Why did you fight?
18. Fighting with your peers and losing.
Does he have two heads?
19. Eating at your neighbour’s house.
Eating free food from your kind neighbour is a taboo.
20. Telling a small lie.
Ordinary lie oh.
21. Telling the absolute truth.
Especially to an amebo aunty.
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