To a Nigerian parent, failing = coming anything but first.
1. “Your mates that passed, do they have ten heads?”
Na wa oh!
2. “How will you pass when you keep following lazy people. Better change your friends and change your destiny!”
Just small failure.
3. “Shebi if you’ll stop following girls/following boys/playing football/living/breathing, you’ll have time to pass.”
Kuku kill me.
4. “Can’t you see so-so-so-and-so’s child?”
Okay…
5. “When you won’t stop pressing your phone.”
Oya take the phone now.
6. When you ask for anything at all. “this is where they will see you; if it’s to pass exam now, you can’t pass.”
Are you giving me or not?
7. “You want to bring shame to the family?”
When you’re all now looking at me nko?
8. “You think you’re doing us? Keep failing.”
Thanks?
9. “Someone will just be wasting money on school fees on you.”
I’m so confused!
10. “You can eat but you can’t pass.”
I should die?
11. When you want to go out with friends. “The friends you want to follow, did they pass their exam?”
But can I go out?
12. “When I was your age…”
You never failed…yeah I’ve heard.
13. “If you don’t want to go to school tell us.”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that…”
14. When you mistakenly oversleep. “That’s why you failed.”
Wow.
15. First day of holiday. “Have you read your books.”
Fineeee!
16. When you try to explain why you failed the exam. “Did you write all these explanations down in your exams?”
So unpleasant!
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