1. Girl to Guy: “Is it in?”
2. Are you done?
3. This feels so much better when the other person is alive.
4. Girl to Guy: “You’re much better at this than that mad man down the street”.
5. Wait. Na who dey shop?
6. This is so good. I wonder why my doctor said I’ll never be able to have unprotected sex again after I was diagnosed with AIDS.
7. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SYPHILIS!
8. Guy to Girl: “Why does it smell like fish?”
9. Guy to Girl: “You’re even sweeter than your mother”
10. Wait. I wan go shit.
11. Abeg, next time shave. I feel like I’m having sex with a hairbrush.
12. Girl to Guy: “Just use your finger. It’s bigger”.
13. Let’s finish this quickly. The alcohol is wearing off and my standards are getting high again.
14. When you’re close to ejaculation, turn your head 360 degrees and start screaming “THE ANTI-CHRIST IS COMING!!!”
15. Guy to Girl: “My mom has this exact same bra”.
Seeing as you enjoyed this article (which of course you did because it was awesome), read this next article about how Nigerian parents teach sex education.
The Nigerian Parent’s Guide To ‘Sex Education’
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