1. When you finally decide you want to buy that new iPhone.
I am ready.
2. You, when you finally get it.
As I have bought the iPhone, you must all see it.
3. Your charger, a minute after you start using the phone.
What is this nonsense?
4. When every charger you buy after that spoils even faster.
Is it a curse?
5. When an app is not available in the Nigerian App Store.
Where is the respect?
6. You, when your iPhone falls face down.
It’s all over.
7. When you hear how much it costs to fix a broken screen.
Ah! Please, I like the screen cracked like that.
8. When you compare the official price vs. the price here in Nigeria.
Hay! You people don’t have the fear of God.
9. When Siri just completely refuses to understand your accent.
Siri, don’t annoy me today.
10. When someone’s phone rings in public and you think it’s yours.
Ugh! Everybody has THE SAME freaking ringtone.
11. When your auto-correct starts acting like it knows more than you.
Auto-correct, please just leave it.
12. When you’re trying to explain the difference between an Android phone and your iPhone.
Go and argue in your father’s compound.
13. When someone tells you to jailbreak your phone.
Are you drunk?
14. When you haven’t even finished enjoying your phone and Apple announces a new model.
What is it sef?
15. Waiting for the price of the new model to drop like:
Still waiting.
16. When you’re the first one of your friends to buy the newest model.
Na so we see am.
17. The pain you feel when you see this screen:
NEPA, why have you betrayed me?
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